Domestically challenged

It’s been a frustrating long weekend. Topped off tonight by me proving that without a doubt I am completely domestically pathetic. 100% stupid in the kitchen. I decided to bake a chocolate cake. It’s now baked and cooling and seems fine but I feel like a total moron. Without reliving the trauma I will tell you that I forgot the eggs, grilled it rather than baked it so the bottom 90% was liquid and had to be cooked twice. I won’t even mention the brilliant job I made of icing it. Too traumatic. About a month ago I grilled rather than roasted a chicken which thankfully turned out fine but oh boy, the stress involved in making a simple bloody cake!

The other frustrating part of the weekend was last night. We filled out the adoption application forms in full and just needed two references – one of which has to be a family member. We’ve kept it from my family to avoid any lectures about money and also we were worried the excitement of becoming a grandma might kill my mum. So we asked Dave’s mum thinking she’d love to have a grandchild. Apparently not. She said no and would pretty much rather have no grandchild over an adopted one because some strange friends of hers adopted a child about 40 yrs ago and had problems with the birth mother. I was and still am SO MAD. His mother and 2 sisters have have shown themselves to be extremely closed minded, rude and breathtakingly selfish in the two years we have been together. I was mad, I was hurt and I was just plain angry.

So I rang my mum. And she said yes, she’ll be a reference for us. It’s for the best really because she knows us as a couple and most importantly she understood why we’re doing this. It’s not a decision we made lightly and every time someone has made a judgement about us or why we are doing this I’ve been shocked. Why wouldn’t we want to give a baby a home when we can’t have a biological one? It’s a natural step for us. So after a challenging weekend the papers are filled out and tomorrow I’m going to send them off. This is it!!



Filed under adoption, food

13 responses to “Domestically challenged

  1. some people are just plain weird…….
    glad you have a reference now, but if it falls through, i’m happy to pretend to be your sister!

  2. I can’t believe your mil said no! Made me angry just reading it! My husband’s sister is adopted (she’s one of my best friends), three of his cousins are, two of my cousins, and one of my cousin’s sons (he was adopted from Romania). I’ve had to defend adoption many times and never even think of any of these people as adopted until some closed minded idiot makes some stupid remark such as “well he/she was adopted you know, not really family”. Argh!! I wish you all the luck in the world and just remember there are a lot of stupid people out there, and you can’t do a thing about it!

  3. I am so sorry that you didn’t get the response and support you were hoping for. I wish you the best in the adoption process. I’ve never been through it myself, but I am sure it will be a very rewarding and fulfilling experience. My in-laws adopted twin boys while in their mid-fifties. We went through the process with them, and everyone is better off having gone through the rigorous process. Good luck.

  4. Michelle Leray

    I read your post with a wrinkled brow and a feeling of what can only be described as astonishment and sadness. I’m willing to go out on a limb and say that I’m certain the majority of the world is totally supportive of adoptive parents, and are appreciative of the people who open their homes, hearts, and families to children who otherwise would be without a family. I’m sorry that your MIL and others have been so horrible towards you regarding this decision. I wanted you to know that millions of other people across the globe are behind you and think you’re doing a wonderful thing! I hope the rest of the process goes smoothly, and brings you nothing but joy!

  5. bookwormbethie

    I was so sad when I read about your MIL, how utterly frustrating it must be not to have the support you were expecting. I am rooting for y’all!!!!!!! Do not let anyone’s negativity get you down and do not let anyone take away y’alls joy and excitement about getting to be parents. Bravo to your mum for being a reference. I am so excited to hear that you are mailing off the forms. I will continue to keep my fingers crossed and wish y’all only the best!

  6. bookwormbethie

    P.S. Sorry about the cake mishap! At least you are getting the practice and when you make a celebration cake for your adopted child it will come out perfect!

  7. my3boysandi

    bless your mum pleased shes supporting you

    did the cake taste nice – thats what matters most

  8. I’m so sad to hear that you received such a rude response from your MIL. I agree with what Michelle said; the majority of people in this world would applaud and support what you’re doing…I know I certainly do. I hope that cake tasted good. 😉

  9. Stay strong…to adopt a child is to have a heart of gold and that will mean so much to a child. Being a parent is the toughest job in the world because you do wear your heart on your sleeve…this is the first hurdle and there will be more…but your love and dedication will get you through and it will be SO worth it!

  10. How disappointing when loveone’s don’t live up to our expectations. Way to go for pushing through. Something good will come from all of this.

  11. kirsty

    Catching up with blogs after seven weeks away, so I have just read your posts. You are right – loving parenting doesn’t require material wealth. I am amazed by your MIL’s response, but clearly you have loving support from others. Go for it!

  12. If people only had children when they could afford them……….. lol…. lol.. I’m falling over laughing. There’d be very few babies around.

    You go for it, adopt and love your child, your mother in law will come round and be perfectly used to the idea in time. If not she will definitely be the one losing out.

    I’ll keep you in my thoughts (like lots of others) know there is huge support out there for you.

    How exciting. May I say congratulations…… you are now expectant mother…. father…. parents.

  13. sue

    some people have had extremely bad experiences with adoption, so maybe she was trying to not see you both hurt?

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